Well, honestly, I’m not in the mood to write something. I’m a bit used to what I’m feeling now, my mind is not that emotional unlike before.
Anyway, I want to tell you I miss you, not by simply writing down the words and wait for you to read it. I want to say it personally to you—I want to speak those words—to say it right in front of you. Yeah! Even though I’m lacking the courage to—still, I want to.
Do you still remember how surreal our days were?
It was just a mere reality in the midst of almost having the taste of it.
For months I’ve been trying… I’ve been trying to forget or hopefully get over you but I just can’t.
Err…
For months I’ve been trying… I guess I’ve been trying in vain, the result of my actions were undoubtedly stupid. Tell me, did you ever or even had “that” feeling for me?
Or…
Was it just a fancy attention that you had which misled you to have a great infatuation?
…
Did I even have the chance?
I don’t require for an answer to this. I just wanted to ask but not really know what the answer you have for this.
I want to meet you again, and if ever it would be a yes, the question is: when?
I want to talk to you; maybe this is the only way for me to get over you…
Honestly, I want to tell you everything that’s in my mind, I’m getting tired and bored writing my emotions and what-so-ever on paper. My mind is too tired talking to itself.
I’m not a good writer; I don’t even have the knowledge in anything that is related to literature. And worst, I even don’t know how to construct a proper sentence or phrase!
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
My mind is inconsistent on what to tell about, there are just too many things I want to talk about. I want to TALK, to SPEAK out. And this time, I want it to be one by the use of my mouth.
It has been months now; since the last time we’ve met. You know what… I really wanted to purchase those name-beaded necklaces that time… Oh well, I ended up saying;
“Next time.”
He main reason why I said that was because I thought there would be a next time… Well, I was wrong.
I’m not the sweetest, most romantic or even good-looking person you’ve known.
Whatever… I don’t really mind.
I feel like I’m a satellite. Wandering around you,
Not having the chance to get even close to you.
1/27/08
Bringing it all back. :(
Oh well.I sure do hope so... :(
Hindi ko na mabuksan yung isa kong blog! Fvck!
Balik tuloy ako dito sa luma kong blog. :c
--
Here's my last post dun sa isa kong blog:
Shitty post:
I never really wanted to, but she just made me fall more faster. From there, I then realized that I just somehow forced myself to face what's in front of me.
It grew very differently from the way I wanted it to be--not like this, it's just another side of what story lies within. I pretend. Yes, and I acted well enough on making the majority believe on what I am feeling...
She smiled with such gladness. What a make believe I have found myself in, I smiled back knowing the fact that the feeling that she's in a lie every time I look at her. She's just so fragile, and at the same time so powerful without any barriers holding her back... She made me fall too fast. Way too fast. Before I know it, I'm already in a moshpit, smothered by flattery. I couldn't control myself but to accept the reality of what's in store for me. What a such beauty to arouse myself on something I never wanted to happen. It made me feel contented in a short period of time, even without having the thought of what may happen in the coming future.
Have I taken this serious enough, or am I just having a shot of some taste that I could never really have?
A day has ended. And I am in a melancholic trauma of what happened to me in the past. I could try to be all fine, to be just the one who I am before but I Just couldn't. It's eating me alive. An emotion a bit too strong, which within me has devoured.
Have I fallen really in love? Finally, I thought of something new. Really new. And so, I grabbed what device I could pick-up so that I could utterly confess what I have in mind. She answers right back--a voice of rejection I heard. The conversation ended right there, with me left in silence for a moment... For a day.
I couldn't believe it, it's like I was used, played with. Such an unfair moment for me to the fact that I am willing to take the risk and everything, but I guess it wasn't just enough to be the one beside her.
I guess she just needed more of what I could give, what I could offer. Or maybe... She just needed no one at the moment. What happened? I mean, there was something--a possible spark, but she gave up on it. The potential of what could someday blossom ended right at the moment when I just wanted to begin. Could I say that "We almost had it"; well I think I just fell way too short... I know you weren't ready. but why fonder with the feeling of falling deeply, then suddenly grab a branch to stop from feeling such?
Then you said I'm just taking it way too seriously, when in the first place; you were the one who made me think that I should. Your actions just don't suit your words. You're too strong when it comes the the art of conversation and argument, but I could feel that it's also the same thing that makes you weak. Were you surprised of what had happened? Suddenly you couldn't control it any longer so then you gave up and turned away. Now, I was left like a fool of the remnants of what just happened. I tried to pick it up, assemble and somehow show to you that I'm worth the try. But you couldn't agree with it.
Oh well... It's all in the past now, and all I have to do is to live with it. Thanks for hurting me, though I know I myself is the one to blame.
Hindi ko na mabuksan yung isa kong blog! Fvck!
Balik tuloy ako dito sa luma kong blog. :c
--
Here's my last post dun sa isa kong blog:
Shitty post:
I never really wanted to, but she just made me fall more faster. From there, I then realized that I just somehow forced myself to face what's in front of me.
It grew very differently from the way I wanted it to be--not like this, it's just another side of what story lies within. I pretend. Yes, and I acted well enough on making the majority believe on what I am feeling...
She smiled with such gladness. What a make believe I have found myself in, I smiled back knowing the fact that the feeling that she's in a lie every time I look at her. She's just so fragile, and at the same time so powerful without any barriers holding her back... She made me fall too fast. Way too fast. Before I know it, I'm already in a moshpit, smothered by flattery. I couldn't control myself but to accept the reality of what's in store for me. What a such beauty to arouse myself on something I never wanted to happen. It made me feel contented in a short period of time, even without having the thought of what may happen in the coming future.
Have I taken this serious enough, or am I just having a shot of some taste that I could never really have?
A day has ended. And I am in a melancholic trauma of what happened to me in the past. I could try to be all fine, to be just the one who I am before but I Just couldn't. It's eating me alive. An emotion a bit too strong, which within me has devoured.
Have I fallen really in love? Finally, I thought of something new. Really new. And so, I grabbed what device I could pick-up so that I could utterly confess what I have in mind. She answers right back--a voice of rejection I heard. The conversation ended right there, with me left in silence for a moment... For a day.
I couldn't believe it, it's like I was used, played with. Such an unfair moment for me to the fact that I am willing to take the risk and everything, but I guess it wasn't just enough to be the one beside her.
I guess she just needed more of what I could give, what I could offer. Or maybe... She just needed no one at the moment. What happened? I mean, there was something--a possible spark, but she gave up on it. The potential of what could someday blossom ended right at the moment when I just wanted to begin. Could I say that "We almost had it"; well I think I just fell way too short... I know you weren't ready. but why fonder with the feeling of falling deeply, then suddenly grab a branch to stop from feeling such?
Then you said I'm just taking it way too seriously, when in the first place; you were the one who made me think that I should. Your actions just don't suit your words. You're too strong when it comes the the art of conversation and argument, but I could feel that it's also the same thing that makes you weak. Were you surprised of what had happened? Suddenly you couldn't control it any longer so then you gave up and turned away. Now, I was left like a fool of the remnants of what just happened. I tried to pick it up, assemble and somehow show to you that I'm worth the try. But you couldn't agree with it.
Oh well... It's all in the past now, and all I have to do is to live with it. Thanks for hurting me, though I know I myself is the one to blame.
6/26/07
Bla blah blah.
Weird lang talaga ng feeling. I see no reason kung bakit ganun, I also see no reason kung bakit ganito o ganyan. It just so happend na things were just not fitted in the right place and in the right time.
Realizations for me are yet a scene for me to look at. I still have no definite idea of what's really in my mind or what I need or want to do. I guess I'm out of tune.
Oh well, it is really hard keeping the silence too close. Too close that I'm being deaf by my own self.
Every sound is in mute effect.
If only I could share to you my words of endearment, but I guess you don't need to hear those. I have my infamous life settled in every words that I say. It just destroys me even more. Even more.
Realizations for me are yet a scene for me to look at. I still have no definite idea of what's really in my mind or what I need or want to do. I guess I'm out of tune.
Oh well, it is really hard keeping the silence too close. Too close that I'm being deaf by my own self.
Every sound is in mute effect.
If only I could share to you my words of endearment, but I guess you don't need to hear those. I have my infamous life settled in every words that I say. It just destroys me even more. Even more.
6/10/07
The Scientist
Coldplay.
Err, I don't know why I love this song... It's been almost 3 years now, still, super favorite ko parin sya.
Take note: I'm not a Coldplay fan.
--
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
Err, I don't know why I love this song... It's been almost 3 years now, still, super favorite ko parin sya.
Take note: I'm not a Coldplay fan.
--
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
6/4/07
my lola's 1st death anniv.
Now your gone, things won't be the same again.
From my Mama:
Hi mama, I hope you like the roses I gave you. You always show up in the presence of the butterfly.
From me:
I miss you so much. :( Another year has come without you.
--
The reason why i like butterflies is that--I remember or see my lola everytime i see a butterfly. ^_^
From my Mama:
Hi mama, I hope you like the roses I gave you. You always show up in the presence of the butterfly.
From me:
I miss you so much. :( Another year has come without you.
--
The reason why i like butterflies is that--I remember or see my lola everytime i see a butterfly. ^_^
6/3/07
grand goodbyes.
An Unfinished poem.
Grand goodbyes are those what’s meant to last
Those words are the memoirs of everything that happened from the start
Everything’s falling into places now--but not the way that I want it to be
Affirmation of what’s positive, now I’ve laid my hands down on you
I succumb myself, for now that I’ve realized that things are just not meant to be
A mist of a downfall opens my eyes, a blurred reality, still not wanting to believe
Even though the truth pursuits me. Still, I have a blind belief of something unreal…
Me, being a part of you.
A painful truth, that I could never make it overrule
It haunts me; a presence of you just makes me feel more eager of having you.
--
Haha, it's been a month since my last post. :p Lol...
Grand goodbyes are those what’s meant to last
Those words are the memoirs of everything that happened from the start
Everything’s falling into places now--but not the way that I want it to be
Affirmation of what’s positive, now I’ve laid my hands down on you
I succumb myself, for now that I’ve realized that things are just not meant to be
A mist of a downfall opens my eyes, a blurred reality, still not wanting to believe
Even though the truth pursuits me. Still, I have a blind belief of something unreal…
Me, being a part of you.
A painful truth, that I could never make it overrule
It haunts me; a presence of you just makes me feel more eager of having you.
--
Haha, it's been a month since my last post. :p Lol...
4/28/07
argh. what a pic.
taken from our PYM swimming outing.
Lol, still, wala pa akong copy ng mga pics nung swimming namin. T_T
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